I'm in Love

I can't believe it. I was at Chris' house, and all of a sudden...everything got better. I don't know how it happened. I just looked at him and I was like 'this is the guy I want to be with.' And after...well, you know... we were laying together and he said that he felt better with me than he ever has before, because he wasn't hiding anything. And I agreed, it felt better for some reason. I felt close to him. And I told him that I didn't think that being in a "serious" relationship meant that we'd be together every day, and he's like 'then what does it mean?' and I said 'it's hard to explain.' So as I was trying to figure it out, he said 'then aren't we already in one?' and I was like 'yeah, I guess' and he's like 'because you mean so much to me.' It was so amazing. I couldn't believe it. I still can't. It was... haha unbelieveable. Amazing.

~Little Lifeguard!~

What The Hell?

Alright, so I deleted that last post. I hate him now, Kody I mean, and I don't plan on doing anything with him, ever, no matter what. I'm pissed at Chris, and I'm crying at the moment and have no one to talk to. So yes. Goodnight.

Little Lifeguard.

Mmmmmmustang

You know, I would be quite content with selling my house and living in the back of a Mustang for a year. I wouldn't need furniture, and I wouldn't have to pay for heating and electricity. Just for gas and car maintenance. It would be PERFECT.

I'm at work, doing a position paper. I'm quite proud of it already. These are fun to do.

~Little Lifeguard~

Thinking

I'm having a great week. I had an idea, but I don't know. Sometimes I think that willpower is too hard. I can't deal with it sometimes. And it's so hard to hear the disappointment in his voice. But I have to do it...I have to fix things for me. I want to be happy, and I expect nothing less than having a guy that makes me happy.

But wait...he does that already, doesn't he?

Uh oh. I think I may have been going on the idea here.

Okay, so he does still really like me, but he's just getting comfortable in the relationship, right? So how do I fix that. I've been thinking that I would just make him uncomfortable in it, but now I don't know if that's the right idea. After all, I don't want to lose him. But maybe I'm going to be scaring him away?

Well, in some ways he had it coming. He did tell me that he wished I hung out with my friends more because then I could experience sacrafice from my friends. So I decided I would hang out with my friends more, and he's be left behind for a while.

But that doesn't make me happy.

Oh well.

~Little Lifeguard~